1.) Where did you meet?
At the department of industrial relations. She offered to help me with some claim cards. I thought she wanted to eat my brains.
2.) Who introduced you?
She did.

3.) What was the first thought that went through your head when you met?
She wants to eat my brains. And when she smiles it looks like the Cheshire cat. With boobs.
4.) Do you remember what he/she was wearing?
No, but her hair was frosted.
5.) Where was the first place you kissed this person?
At my apartment while my mom wasn’t home.
6.) How long did you know this person before you became a couple?
Close to a year.
7.) How did he/she ask you out?
She wanted to go see Lord of the Rings, and I stood her up. She came over to my house seeking retribution.
8.) Do you have kids with this person?
About 2

9.) Have you ever broken the law with this person?
Yes. I speed with her in the car all the time.

10.) When was the first time you realized that you really liked this person?
That time we stayed up all night talking on my couch.
11.) Do you get along with his/her family?
We get along better than we did.
12.) Do you trust this person?
Yeah, except with my cocaine.
13.) Do you see her/him as your partner in the future?
Sure do.

14.) What is the best gift she/he gave you?
Babies.
15.) How long have you been with this person?
Almost 7 years
16.) How well do you know your man or woman?
inside and out. No pun intended.
17.) What features attracted you to him first?
That smile of hers.
18.) Hair color?
Dark brown.
19.) Does he/she let you wear their pants?
No, but I’ve been trying to get into them ever since we started dating…BA-ZING!
20.) Do you have a shirt of hers/his that you sleep in?
No, but sometimes I put her bra on my head and parade around in front of the house to scare off prospective home buyers.

21.) Does she/he make you happy?
Yes.

22.) Does she/he have any piercings?
Yeah…I’m not tellin’ where.

23.) Does she/he have any scars that you know of?
She has a c-section scar that I think is beautiful.

24.) Is she/he Outgoing or Shy?
Middle of the road with this one
25.) Does she/he sing?
Sometimes.
26.) Do you like her/his friends?
I’ve only met one…Christy McGough, and she’s funny as hell.

27.) Does she/he have any tattoos?
Yeah. A pussy….cat.

28.) Does she/he look like their mom?
Not really.
29.) Do you like her/his sisters/brothers?
we get along.
30.) What is the most romantic date he has ever taken you on?
To red lobster when she was 10984756235498 months pregnant and she ate all of the crab legs they had.
31.) Do you have any nicknames for each other?
Sweet parts?
32.) Do you live with this person?
Yes.

Bleh...being on call can really disrupt your sleep rhythm. I got called last night sometime between 11:00-12:00, and now since roughly 4:00 I've been on a call, and I'm supposed to be at work at 7:00. I think I'll be going in late today; I need more than 4hours of sleep in a row.

As of January 1st, 2009,I have been a father for 10 years. As of January 4th, 2009,I have been a father of two for 5 years. They're like two peas in a bulletproof pod.





Their partner in crime has been around for 8 months and some change now,and she's already showing that she's ready to run the show, as seen here:







I have a feeling they'll be the death of inflation, recession, unemployment, the credit crunch, AIDS, Scientology, the designated hitter rule, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, the Mideast conflict, foreign oil dependency, and cholesterol. Outside of that, I don't expect they'll amount to much...

:)

I tell you, this has been a very, very disappointing day.

But not nearly as disappointing as the day I realized that I was not invited to be a part of Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814.

That day really sucked.

We're home now. Gracie and Michelle are doing well. Thanks to everyone who called or came by.

Name that title and I'll give you a nickel.

IF there's one thing this "blog" could use, it's refinements.

So, we're scheduled to have the baby on May 6th. C-section. The last time, Michelle was in the hospital for 11 days or so. Perhaps this time she'll not share needles and not get hospital aids. (and I don't mean helpers.)

Goings on with me...a few weeks ago I had back herpes. Some people call it "shingles", but it's essentially herpes that affect a nerve path. Did I mention it hurts a lot? Yeah--it was worse than when I broke my collarbone. I stayed stoned out of my mind on painkillers for a week, which was nice but I thought my pecker was a mushroom and I was peeing pizza sauce. I can see where people could get hooked on oxycontin. Weak bitches.

I bought a minivan two weeks ago. I'm still trying to figure out how to pay for it, But with three kids, it's either that or put one in the trunk of the Audi. And frankly, the Audi needs some TLC after the racially-motivated attack it suffered last spring. To this day I still believe that some asshole is wearing my Audi emblem on a gold chain, not realizing that the hood has NO IDEA what an Audi is. That or the asshole tried to make some silver teeth out of it.

I still stand by my prior issue of this "blog" that only assholes do it. "Blog", that is.

And now, a message from the National Apple Association:

...FUCK PEARS!

peace out

Recently, I took my 4 year old son to a Mexican Restaurant for dinner. While waiting for food, he announced that he has to go to the bathroom; I asked if he had to pee or poop. He replied "I have to potty both."

So I take him to the bathroom, help him into the stall, and step out so that he can take care of business with a certain degree of privacy, This is what I hear from the other side of the stall:

"Oh man...Oh, I've got to...Oh man...it's ok...I've gotta...ok...Oh God...got to...I've gotta make this work...Oh God, it's happening...Ok...(strained voice)...I have...to...make..this..wor...OH GOD I PEED ON MY LEG!" and then "kerplunk".

"DADDY? ARE YOU HUNGRY NOW??"

Yes son, listening to your would-be inner shit monologue makes me very hungry. Thanks.

It's difficult to express raw emotion concisely the first time you write something, so forgive me if this rambles a bit.

So it was around this time nine years ago that the most important event of my life to that point happened.

I remember it pretty well--the evening of December 31, 1998, I was sitting in my apartment, hanging out with Jordain and Bob, when I got a call from Jessica's friend Leslie. She asked me if I was sitting down, because she had something to tell me.

"You're about to be a father."

It was a few weeks early, and apparently she decided it was time to break out of her water sack and take the world by the short hairs. So Bob and I drove up to Birmingham so that I could be there. As many of you know, her mother and I were not exactly on the best terms at the time, but for some reason she wanted me there. So I went.

When I got there they had just put in the epidural for the second time, and Jessica was in labor for at least 4 hours. I was with her from the time I arrived until Madison was born.

After the nurses, I was the first person to hold my daughter. I had never felt so overcome with emotion, so afraid, so unprepared. But I loved her so; in an instant I went from being a bitter wretch in my mid-20's, to feeling a love so intense, so real and amazing and beautiful; in a moment I was changed.

I've often told my daughter that she is the first person to save my life, and although she'll never really understand what it means, she always responds with "I love you daddy." She was my first true, unconditional love. She was my life; gave it meaning and hope. She kept me going for so very long, through so many difficult things. She was my strength through the worst part of my life. She is my beautiful baby girl. My guardian angel. Without her, I would not be alive.

It really is as simple as that.



Happy birthday Madison. I love you with all of my heart. I thank God for you every day of my life.

It's a girl. She's due 05/17/08.

So goings on with me, list style, because that's how I roll, and honestly, that's the only way I can effectively communicate in writing anymore.

1. I am convinced that Popeye's Chicken is a gift from God...at least for about 30 minutes, and then your insides realize that you just injexted 5 pieces of greasy, spicy chicken, greasy mashed potatoes (I didn't know that was possible), and two greasy biscuits. After said 30 minutes, the revolution begins. THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOF OD THE POPEYE'S EATERS...mostly out of their collective asses.

2. I played Golf last Sunday for the first time in my life. It was a lot of fun, but I realized that most guys get together to play golf not as a sport, but as an escape from "nag nag nag, bitch bitch hitch, moan moan moan, I'm bleeding from my vagina, waaah!" so on and so forth. Thank God I don't have to do that...well, because she's all knocked up. ;)

3. I sill like working for the bank. Some days are a little boring, but I have a good manager and competent co-worker, which I am not accustomed to. The money is okay, and the hours are okay. Plus I'm in charge this Friday.

4. After a few scares, the afore mentioned pregnancy is going well. We find out what my giant seed is going to be on December 17th. I'm hoping it'll be a millionaire--but it's probably gonna be a boy or girl.

5. I have a friend that's a pharmacist, and she scolds me when I don't take care of myself--so I hope she's not reading this, and if she is--the whole fried chicken thing was a joke.

That's about all. We're cruising through the holidays, house is in and out of shambles, life is generally good.

Oh, and it turns out I can legally marry people. I can pronounce you man and wife. I just get to cop a feel of the bride.

The dread Pirate Kenny and Maid Maddie.

Love, Thomas

(and little thomas)

goddammit little tom, get back in your cage!

I forgot the password for my other journal, so I guess I'll say it here in case someone doesn't know--we're having another baby. Due sometime in May. Stay tuned for details if you're interested.

Work is good. Home is good. But I don't want the Irish.

Hey guys-

I'm going to delete this journal and start all over. My new on is called

ohgoddammitdude

thanks.

scratch the last sentence of my previous post. The future sucks again.

Things I take with me as my time here winds down:

1. Saftey Glasses.
2. 15 Shirts with my name on them, 5 pairs of pants, 2 belts, 2 hats.
3. The satisfaction of a job well done.
4. The respect of my peers and management.
5. A better understanding of the world or manufacturing.
6. Appreciation of another culture, but not its food.
7. Some new skills that I hope will serve me well.

This is still the best place I've ever worked. Leaving is becoming more and more bittersweet the closer my last day approaches. But I do believe I made the correct decision.

This new opportunity will give me a normal schedule, a routine that will enable me to take better care of myself, and hopefully a more meaningful homelife.

I look forward to the future. For the first time in years, it really does seem bright.

but whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, and brown rice just plain taste bad. The pasta and rice moreso than the bread, but c'mon.

Trying to eat healthy sucks.